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 The life that I have now is not the life that I want. I am going to change it for the better.

Fear

I never thought I will have anxiety attacks but I do.

I am in a constant state of fear.

My chest feels like a huge rock is on top of it.

I just pray that Allah (swt) will heal me.

I do not want to go to work but I have to. I just want to sleep.

Victory

It is close to one in the morning and I still could not sleep.

My mind is awake.

I worry a lot.

I realized that my story had been that of a victim and not a victor.

I will change that.

What I Love

I am wondering what are the things that make me happy.

I know that when I eat my favorite food I am happy.

I love going to the beach where there are no other people.

I love sleeping in hotel rooms.

I love watching movies.

I love watching cable.

I love having the peace of mind of not having any debts.

I love having lots of money.

I love helping people who are appreciative of my help for free. 

I love being good at what I do. :)

REBOOT (11/14/15)

I failed to blog religiously.

Ate at mang Gorio Koronadal City

4 pieces chicken lumpia.

portion of pancit

portion of seafood chop suey

one slice of durian pie

one serving of salad 

I just want to do good and do the right thing.

REBOOT Day 3

Ate two pieces kutsinta with lubi.

One venti chai tea latte

About three cups of banana heart salad in coconut milk and vinegar

A cupful of rice.

Chowking beef wonton soup.

Regular nai cha.

1 pack glazed pili.

Half a bag of large V Cut.

REBOOT DAY 2

OK sue me.

I drank Coke.

I ate half a cup of rice.

One native chicken leg.

Half arroz caldo.

Half a can of Coke. (See confession above)

Ate two pieces KFC hot and crispy fried chicken one of them with cheese.

Two and a half serving of mashed potato and corn.

One large ice tea.

One cup rice.

2 small pieces of dried fish.

a bunch of kangkong

2 small slices of tuna tail.

There goes my food diary.

Oh and one small revel bar.

The twice a day Zynapse is off.

Clopidogrel is still on.

Doctor said I should consult a psychiatrist to manage my paranoia of having another stroke.

Amen to that Doctor. Healthy Body. Healthy Mind.

Thank you to my friends Hygiea and Carl for the talk. Miss you guys. :)