Sabbatical

Would it not be nice if my husband will become rich and I can stop working for two years?


Depression sucks!

Alternative Career

I'm contemplating of becoming a recluse.
I'm tired of being strong.
I'm going to be a writer.
I will earn a living as a writer.
I will write legal advice for imaginary clients and those who can relate to the advice can send their donation to my account. Maybe I would not be so stress and I can get pregnant.
One entry done.

Barren

Today, just for today, I refuse to be positive.
Today, I realized that I might never be able to conceive a child of my own and that I would constantly wonder what it would feel to be a biological mother.


I hope this would be similar to my other posts where I was extremely pessimistic the opposite happened.
I was so pessimistic in passing the bar. I passed finally.


I was so pessimistic with marriage. I was married in a flash. I'm still pessimistic with marriage, there are days I curse the fact that I am married and other days that I feel utter bliss.


Now, I'm just pessimistic. I feel that all the dua's that I am making are falling on deaf ears.
and that I am trapped in my difficult, miserable and barren existence.


So for today, just for today, I chose to be negative and pessimistic.


That's it.

Dreams

I found myself Googling "How to live an inspired life." which probably indicates how weird my thought process is right now.

I told my husband that once we are out of the woods from the financial challenge that we are in right now I will be more selective in my cases. Just one case a month.

I would probably still do seminars and accept a teaching load but I would lessen my case load. All in all without the monetary obligations that I am facing now we could operate at about fifty thousand pesos.

I am dreaming of reading and writing more.

Spending my time praying. Living a simple life. 

I can only do this if I will save every penny. 

Inshaa Allah these dreams will happen.

System

I read about building systems instead of setting goals in this article of James Clear and I am experimenting on it. 

I'm thinking that I need to build a system to make me satisfied about my life.

So here is my system:

1. Wake up early 4 am
2. Write down tasks.
3. Read.
4. Blog.
5. Write a page in the Crim 2 book
6. List down expenses.
7. Stick to a budget.
8. Do salah.
9.Exercise for two hours.
10.Read more inspiring articles.
11. Save money.

Hopeful

I was not able to blog yesterday.

The internet connection is close to non existent.

Here is to hoping things will be all roses this 2015.

All I know is I will not have a hearing the entire month of Ramadan as planned :)

"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it." 
Maya Angelou