Barren

Today, just for today, I refuse to be positive.
Today, I realized that I might never be able to conceive a child of my own and that I would constantly wonder what it would feel to be a biological mother.


I hope this would be similar to my other posts where I was extremely pessimistic the opposite happened.
I was so pessimistic in passing the bar. I passed finally.


I was so pessimistic with marriage. I was married in a flash. I'm still pessimistic with marriage, there are days I curse the fact that I am married and other days that I feel utter bliss.


Now, I'm just pessimistic. I feel that all the dua's that I am making are falling on deaf ears.
and that I am trapped in my difficult, miserable and barren existence.


So for today, just for today, I chose to be negative and pessimistic.


That's it.