I'm contemplating of becoming a recluse.
I'm tired of being strong.
I'm going to be a writer.
I will earn a living as a writer.
I will write legal advice for imaginary clients and those who can relate to the advice can send their donation to my account. Maybe I would not be so stress and I can get pregnant.
One entry done.
Martes, Enero 13, 2015
Lunes, Enero 12, 2015
Barren
Today, just for today, I refuse to be positive.
Today, I realized that I might never be able to conceive a child of my own and that I would constantly wonder what it would feel to be a biological mother.
I hope this would be similar to my other posts where I was extremely pessimistic the opposite happened.
I was so pessimistic in passing the bar. I passed finally.
I was so pessimistic with marriage. I was married in a flash. I'm still pessimistic with marriage, there are days I curse the fact that I am married and other days that I feel utter bliss.
Now, I'm just pessimistic. I feel that all the dua's that I am making are falling on deaf ears.
and that I am trapped in my difficult, miserable and barren existence.
So for today, just for today, I chose to be negative and pessimistic.
That's it.
Today, I realized that I might never be able to conceive a child of my own and that I would constantly wonder what it would feel to be a biological mother.
I hope this would be similar to my other posts where I was extremely pessimistic the opposite happened.
I was so pessimistic in passing the bar. I passed finally.
I was so pessimistic with marriage. I was married in a flash. I'm still pessimistic with marriage, there are days I curse the fact that I am married and other days that I feel utter bliss.
Now, I'm just pessimistic. I feel that all the dua's that I am making are falling on deaf ears.
and that I am trapped in my difficult, miserable and barren existence.
So for today, just for today, I chose to be negative and pessimistic.
That's it.
Sabado, Enero 3, 2015
Dreams
I found myself Googling "How to live an inspired life." which probably indicates how weird my thought process is right now.
I told my husband that once we are out of the woods from the financial challenge that we are in right now I will be more selective in my cases. Just one case a month.
I would probably still do seminars and accept a teaching load but I would lessen my case load. All in all without the monetary obligations that I am facing now we could operate at about fifty thousand pesos.
I am dreaming of reading and writing more.
Spending my time praying. Living a simple life.
I can only do this if I will save every penny.
Inshaa Allah these dreams will happen.
System
I read about building systems instead of setting goals in this article of James Clear and I am experimenting on it.
I'm thinking that I need to build a system to make me satisfied about my life.
So here is my system:
1. Wake up early 4 am
2. Write down tasks.
3. Read.
4. Blog.
5. Write a page in the Crim 2 book
6. List down expenses.
7. Stick to a budget.
8. Do salah.
9.Exercise for two hours.
10.Read more inspiring articles.
11. Save money.
I'm thinking that I need to build a system to make me satisfied about my life.
So here is my system:
1. Wake up early 4 am
2. Write down tasks.
3. Read.
4. Blog.
5. Write a page in the Crim 2 book
6. List down expenses.
7. Stick to a budget.
8. Do salah.
9.Exercise for two hours.
10.Read more inspiring articles.
11. Save money.
Hopeful
I was not able to blog yesterday.
The internet connection is close to non existent.
Here is to hoping things will be all roses this 2015.
All I know is I will not have a hearing the entire month of Ramadan as planned :)
"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it."
Maya Angelou
The internet connection is close to non existent.
Here is to hoping things will be all roses this 2015.
All I know is I will not have a hearing the entire month of Ramadan as planned :)
"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it."
Maya Angelou
Miyerkules, Disyembre 31, 2014
Of Debt Bondage and Freedom
Had the most financially challenging year.
I made one very bad risk that resulted to a financial chaos that affects not only me but those whom I borrowed money from.
Learned these:
1. DEBT is BAD. There is no such thing as good debts. You do not only pay interest but you trade your time and freedom as well.
2. Do not work without payment. It is better to walk away from a job offer than to do it on a pay you later scheme. You will end up with two problems. The problem of the case and money problems.
3. Money should be manged and not the other way around.
4. Save money. I am probably one of those people who could honestly say that when I say I have no money I really mean it. I miss Lola Pat who often said that her money is not enough but has lots of money.
5. Money may not be everything but being burdened by the lack of it sucks.
Resolved to:
1. Generate more income.
2. Charge properly.
3. Pay all debts.
4. Be generous
I made one very bad risk that resulted to a financial chaos that affects not only me but those whom I borrowed money from.
Learned these:
1. DEBT is BAD. There is no such thing as good debts. You do not only pay interest but you trade your time and freedom as well.
2. Do not work without payment. It is better to walk away from a job offer than to do it on a pay you later scheme. You will end up with two problems. The problem of the case and money problems.
3. Money should be manged and not the other way around.
4. Save money. I am probably one of those people who could honestly say that when I say I have no money I really mean it. I miss Lola Pat who often said that her money is not enough but has lots of money.
5. Money may not be everything but being burdened by the lack of it sucks.
Resolved to:
1. Generate more income.
2. Charge properly.
3. Pay all debts.
4. Be generous
Martes, Disyembre 16, 2014
Lizt's List
I received a call from my sister today.
Alhamdullilah for Lissette! She is the bulldog glue that keeps me together.
I am grateful for her reminder that I should write. Write to cope with my reality. Write to deal with my anxiety.
I am again in one of those crossroads where you feel like you do not know what to do. Or more like you have dig yourself into a hole and nothing is happening. There is no gold at the bottom. Worse, there is no stair to climb out of the hole.
Right now, my head is bursting from all the worry. A useless emotion that would not do you any good.
If you would ask me what I want to be it would be CONSISTENTLY good with emphasis on consistent.
I just want to be happy.
I want to do good.
My list?
Be happy.
Be healthy.
Be wealthy.
Be spectacular.
Be amazing.
Another rambling entry.
:)
Alhamdullilah for Lissette! She is the bulldog glue that keeps me together.
I am grateful for her reminder that I should write. Write to cope with my reality. Write to deal with my anxiety.
I am again in one of those crossroads where you feel like you do not know what to do. Or more like you have dig yourself into a hole and nothing is happening. There is no gold at the bottom. Worse, there is no stair to climb out of the hole.
Right now, my head is bursting from all the worry. A useless emotion that would not do you any good.
If you would ask me what I want to be it would be CONSISTENTLY good with emphasis on consistent.
I just want to be happy.
I want to do good.
My list?
Be happy.
Be healthy.
Be wealthy.
Be spectacular.
Be amazing.
Another rambling entry.
:)
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